It is strange to grieve at a time when so many other people are also experiencing loss - loss of loved ones, of income, of shelter, of food security. Loss of hope, faith, trust. With the whole world suffering, it feels selfish to share my grief, though the other strange thing about grieving in the time of Covid, is that there's not much I can do to make myself feel better. I'm pregnant, and therefore high risk, so that doesn't help. I can't go to work, can't exercise, can't travel to visit friends and family, can't go to a bar and have a drink and wallow. We couldn't even have a memorial service for my sister, no closure, no proper goodbyes. So the grief just sits there, right beneath the surface, waiting to surprise me, like when my daughter picks up a toy or a book that my sister gave her. Or when I force myself to remember - really remember - that my unborn son will never get to meet Alison, that she won't be coming to help me when he's born, that she won't be a phone call away when I need advice or comic relief. Or when I think about how her own children will spend the rest of their lives without her love, and humor, and guidance. Alison is gone, and my small world will never be the same, but I can't really do anything change that. What I can do is try to help so that other families might not have to go through the same thing. To that end, I will participate in this year's "More Than Pink" event (formerly the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure) to raise funds for breast cancer research and family outreach. Of course, we're in a pandemic, so the event will be virtual. I can choose where and how far I'll go, but I aim to do it on 12 September. I know there are many other more critical causes right now, but if you have a bit of spare change for mine, I'd appreciate it. If you live in the DC area and want to join me (in a socially distanced way) send me a message so I can let you know my final plans. If you read this whole thing, I thank you. If you can donate, I thank you all the more. If circumstances prevent you from contributing, then please let me know if there's something I can do to help YOU. I hope we can all start feeling better soon.